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t.rules of lif
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2022-08-26
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R U L E S O F L I F E
Submitted by Al Edlund
Sometimes we need to remember WHAT
the Rules of life really are.
1. Never give yourself a haircut
after three alcoholic beverages of
any kind. (THAT'S why everyone was
looking at me with wierd
expressions!)
2. You need only two tools: WD-40 and
duct tape. If it doesn't move and
it should, use WD-40. If it moves
and shouldn't, use the tape. (My
mother's motto! DMM)
3. The five most essential words for
a healthy, vital relationship are
"I apologize" and "You are right."
4. Everyone seems normal until you
get to know them. ("Normal" is
over-rated anyway. DMM)
5. When you make a mistake, make
amends immediately. It's easier to
eat crow while it's still warm.
6. The only really good advice that
your mother ever gave you was: "Go!
You might meet somebody!"
7. If he/she says that you are too
good for him/her - believe them.
8. Learn to pick your battles. Ask
yourself, 'Will this matter one
year from now? How about one month?
One week? One day?'
9. Never pass up an opportunity to
sing.
9a. Work like you don't need the
money. Love like you've never been
hurt. And Sing and Dance like no
one is around!
10. If you woke up breathing,
congratulations! You have another
chance!
11. Living well really is the best
revenge. Being miserable because of
a bad or former relationship just
might mean that the other person
was right about you. (Outlasting
the stinkers is its own reward.
DMM)
12. Work is good, but it's not that
important.
13. And finally -- Be really nice to
your friends and family. You never
know when you are going to need
them to empty your bedpan.